Interview with Landon Phillips

Need a hug? I sure do, and I know just where to get it. Landon loves giving out the Best Bear Hugs Ever, but don't let his sweet demeanor fool you, he's as tough as they come. What's that you say? You want proof? Well friends, this lovely young man returned recently from riding his bicycle across the U.S.A. on a mission created by the nonprofit Darkness to Light in order to raise awareness about child sexual abuse. Check it out, also, what have you done lately to help prevent child sexual abuse? Heh? Get to it, ladies, gents and bents...if Landon can pedal across the country raising awareness, you can find a way to contribute to this most excellent cause.

QQ: Tell me a little bit about yourself and where you’re from.

LP: My name is Landon Neil Phillips, and I’m twenty-two, my birthday is February 23rd, and I am a pisces, a distinct pisces, though I’ve heard recently that the zodiac has changed. But I looked at CNN and their website says it hasn’t. I’m strictly a pisces whether it’s changed or not! I was born in Charlotte, NC and raised by my mom and my brother and some crazy family members. I went to an art high school, where my majors were film and theatre. I spent a year after high school in Charlotte and got really involved in the music scene and DJing, which made me really want to break away from Charlotte, so I moved to Charleston.

QQ: Why did you choose Charleston?

LP: The charm, the beauty, the European vibe I got from it, it was just a feeling I got from this place, and I’m glad I stuck with it. I’ve lived here for the past four years and it’s been wonderful.

QQ: What is your definition of the term “queer”?

LP: Different, anything different. Anything could be queer. And you know these “homosexuals” are pretty different than these “straight” people, so I guess we’re a little queer ourselves, but I’m okay with being different, it makes me sleep better.

QQ: Tell me about your recent cross-country trip. Maybe start out with how you got into it and what exactly you did.

LP: Well, my friend Tyler works for Darkness to Light, which is a national nonprofit that works to prevent child sexual abuse. He had this idea to bike across the country and raise money and awareness for a prevention program they do. At the time I was really itching to do something, and when people start saying things to me such as: “No, you can’t do that,” or “There’s no way it’s going to happen,” it really pushes me. If you tell me I’m not going to be able to do it, I will do it. Biking across the country was something I never thought I would ever do, but as time went on, it just started happening. Tyler put together a packet, and we raised money for it before and during the trip, and the next thing I knew I was in the middle of Kansas, and I was like, “Holy crap, how the heck did I get here? And on a bike!” The trip was very eye-opening, and the cause of preventing child sexual abuse was something I hadn’t focused on before it was brought to light for me. I felt like I needed to bring it to light as well. Something you do very passionately, which is very difficult and takes over your entire 24/7 makes you really want to get the message across. I’ve heard some really bad stories. I feel like I’m a kid at heart, always and forever, and to hear some of these stories about these seven year olds having their whole childhood changed just because of one thing that a family member did...well, I quickly became very active in the cause.

What do you think is the most important thing you learned from doing the trip?

You can have anything you want, if you want it then it is yours. Hard work is all that it takes, and hard work sucks but the ultimate goal is your dreams, and there’s nothing stopping you from attaining those. And I know that sounds really cliche, but it’s true. I know now that I can have anything I want all I have to do is go for it, and I will.

What was your favorite place to go through?

I have two favorite places, for two different reasons. Wyoming was really hard, we’d be riding and there wouldn’t be a single place for hundreds and hundreds of miles. There’s so much room in America. I can’t even believe that we live in a country that has all of this. It’s like being on the moon, a big, red moon. You’ll go hundreds and hundreds of miles, and you’ll get to a town which consists of one family, and that’s it. It was mind boggling. My other favorite place was California. There was some really intense riding there, it was like being in a big video game the whole time. There are all these huge cars and huge mountains and huge trees and huge cliffs and you’re just up and down up and down, side to side, oh it was crazy! And beautiful, absolutely beautiful, and the people were crazy. I’ve never met as many weird people as I did in California and I loved it.

How did it feel to end your journey in the same place you began it?

It definitely felt like I was ending the story, in a good way. I had experienced so much that the way thought about Charleston changed. Before I left I was like, “Get me the heck out of here! I need to get out, I need to find new places and do new things.” But even halfway through my trip I wanted to come back, there’s no place like it. It takes something like leaving for three months to realize how lucky we are. You might work in a restaurant, but that’s better than being out in the middle of nowhere and having no culture whatsoever. There’s just so much culture here, I love that. Also, I had my boyfriend waiting for me back here, so everyday I was biking I was biking to get closer to him. And he really got me through it, even though he wasn’t with me. So I really missed him a lot. Coming back, I’ve never been so nervous in my entire life. When I saw my mom, who met me out in California, it was just such a huge shock. I knew I was going to see her, and I was shaking because I was so nervous about seeing her, because I knew I was done, I did it and I’m here, and my mom’s here. And you know, Tyler and Mike weren’t the most affectionate people, on the trip, and I’m a very affectionate person--

QQ: Hundreds of miles in Wyoming without hugs, not good for Landon.

--not good, not good for Landon at all! And I remember hugging her, and it felt so weird, just to hug someone. I found that even on the trip, people who would let us stay at their house, I would give them a big hug and say thank you so much for everything you’ve done for us, it means so much,” and it did, it meant a lot. I don’t know, I’m a very huggy person--without touch you’re just so empty. It’s so important.

QQ: So, if you could wave your magic wand and make three things happen in charleston in the next year, what would they be?

LP: If I were the ruler of Charleston, what would I do? I have to think about that! There’s so many things you can do with a magic wand! First of all, you know that three story high rise that sits above that smelly Abercrombie & Fitch? I want to buy that and turn it into a triple level bar, and each level will have a different vibe, at the top you’ll have the crazy lights and dance, and you’ll have your sophisticated bar in the middle and you’ll have your trendy, modern bar at the bottom. So, I would wave my magic wand and get rid of that Abercrombie and rule that place because it is beautiful. Let’s see, I would turn St. Philip Street into a freaking bike lane! St. Philip just needs to be bike lane. Let’s see, third wish...I just have so many ideas! I’m on the spot! What would be some of yours?

QQ: Mine? If I could do three things? Wave my magic wand? I would stop gentrification. I would begin a community-wide dialogue about race and gender and class and the way those things operate in Charleston, and have a board of people specifically dedicated to fostering that dialogue and making reports to the mayors office, and they would all be paid well. And the third thing...I would probably do something about bikes, too...

LP: Ok, so, I would turn Abercrombie into the coolest triple bar ever, and also live there, and I would turn St. Philip into a bike lane, and I would become the mayor of awesomeness! I would love it if everyone came to my pad and hung out with me. Because I am the mayor of awesomeness and I love people and I love friends. I would also make everyone buy Stella By Starlight’s upcoming album, which is dropping soon!

QQ: So tell me about your experience as a teenager in Charlotte.

LP: I went to a very open high school, I was out when I was in tenth grade, and I had a loving boyfriend, and my mom loved him and his family loved me, and we were both the coolest kids in school, and the teachers loved him, and teachers hated me! So we were very fortunate to have what we had.

QQ: What’s your coming out story?

LP: Well, I always really wanted guys approval, but I thought that that was just because I wanted to fit in with them, but then around eighth grade I was like, “Holy crap, I’m gay!” But I was determined to be straight. And then I went to my high school and the first day, I saw so many gay people, and I was so freaked out, and I was like, “Oh my god, are those guys gay?” And my friend was like, “Yeah, are you a homophobe or something?” And I was like “No! No! No, I’m not a homophobe.” It was clearly okay, and I was like ‘Okay, well, that seems to be alright.” And my mom has millions of gay friends, so so many gay friends, I can’t take it. One day I went to get something out of the pantry, as simple as that, and my mom turned to me and said, “Are you gay?” And I was like, “Yeah, Mom, I’m gay.” And she was like “Thank God! I’ve always wanted a gay son!” I knew that if I had my mom’s approval everything was okay, so the next day at school I came out, and word got around. I remember going to one of my classes, and one or the straightest people I know, who was one of my friends, was like “Landon, I love you so much!” and ran over and gave me a big hug in front of everyone. It wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t embarrassing, it was very cool. Also, I won prom prince and king. I was just a goober, I didn’t really do anything but have fun with my friends.

QQ: I’m so glad you had such a good experience! What do you think about Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” project?

LP: I think it’s amazing. Why not? It does get better.

QQ: Does it?

LP: Yes.

QQ: For everyone?

LP: Like I said, you can do anything you want. It might be really hard. It gets better if you want it to get better. It’s hard, it’s really hard sometimes, obviously more for some people. But it definitely gets better, how could it not get better?

QQ: I mean, I think it gets better for us because we have privilege, and we have education, and we’re in a position where we can make it better for ourselves, but not everybody is in that position. Maybe we can do anything we want but not everybody can.

LP: You’re absolutely right, not everyone is in that position. It is very difficult sometimes for people. But ultimately for those people it will get better. I mean I have faith in that, definitely.

QQ: I mean I want to believe it will, and I think there is a sea change in the way we’re thinking as a nation. I think that more people support gay marriage than don’t support it, people are coming around, if slowly, but at the same time, for the queer transgender woman of color living on the streets of Detroit, I don’t know if it gets better for her.

LP: What I’m saying, is if you want a better life for yourself, then you have every mean and possibility to make it better, it’s hard, it will be so hard.

QQ: How do you think that we can make it better? Because I don’t think it just gets better, we have to make it better.

LP: My opinion is that talking about it, but not being so forceful with it, is good. All we can do is just tell people that it’s okay, and then people will believe that it’s okay, and then more people will be open to it, and more people will start coming out, and then the more that happens, the more society has to change, so society will change. It takes a while, but I think we’ll see gay marriage legalized in the next decade.

QQ: Oh yeah? I hope so, when it happens we’re throwing a big party at your triple decker bar...would you ever get married?

LP: Well, I remember when I was on the trip, and we were all watching TV. We were watching the news about the repeal of Prop 8, and never in my life have I felt so different, than that moment, when I was talking to Tyler and Mike. It was kind of emotional for me, because I was really realizing that I am being denied a right, just for me being me. That really struck home, I’ve never felt something like that before. I started thinking about it, and I do believe that obviously we should have the option to be married. Will I ever get married? If it’s the right person yes, I would love to. I’m a hopeless romantic.

QQ: If you had to ask yourself an interview question, what would it be?

LP: I always like to ask people what their favorite color is, because I think it says a lot about them...

QQ: So what’s your favorite color? And what does it say about you?

LP: Sea foam green. Or mint. And it says that I’m a breath of fresh air! And sea foam reminds me of the beach a lot, when I get into water I become a different person...I swear I was a mermaid in my past life.

QQ: Thanks for telling me all of your deepest darkest secrets.